quick reminder that i am cool and beautiful
ok keep scrolling
oh its december 1st *snorts hot coco powder* i fkn LOVE christmas *wraps lights around my naked body and runs around town* CHRISTMAS
When aliens in galaxies 70 million light years away look through a telescope at Earth, they see dinosaurs.
Is that why there has been no alien contact? Because as far as aliens are concerned, there is legitimately no intelligent life on earth?
shit son there still isn’t intelligent life on earth
Reasons I grab my boobs
- running upstairs
- running downstairs
- stoked on life
- walking through my house in the dark
"if feminists want equality does this mean we can punch women now?"
go ahead chicken shit punch me in the fucking face. i will shove your entire upper body into your own ass and make you fuck yourself from the inside out
life hack: just be fucking nice to people
can’t wait for the generation of grandmas with winged eyeliner
And purple hair and noserings and stretched ears and tattoos having wheelchair races in the nursing home sword fighting with our canes as rap plays on the golden oldies stations.
I love how the whole “babies from bone marrow” thing is making people go “this makes men unnecessary” and men are getting so upset
it’s really fucking annoying to be deemed unnecessary and reduced to something like whether or not you can procreate